There were like a thousand thing happening in my life since last February..
Starting with an awful day with Phillipe, up and down about making decision of where to work, starting my Salonku business, moving to Bandung due to work, back to Jakarta after field assignment, broke up with him, got a new task at HO, and now, figuring out that all men are and will not ever be loyal to one woman only.
About the business, I love doing it so much. I learn so many things within several months. It is very tiring to ship orders everyday but It makes good income for me, and last month was very surprising. Hopefully I can keep on doing this. Got no clue what will happen if They send me to other city for work.
Broke up with him.
14 juin 2015.
It was much more than hurting to see those pictures and conversations at his mobile phone. Not the first, but third time. How could he do such thing to me. Am I that priceless for him? I was so angry at that time, like I could not believe what happen to our relationship. I forgive but I won't forget. I do not tell anyone why we broke up as it will only be an aib for him. Let me keep things only in mind and let others keep on blaming me for this.
To be honest, he is much more annoying when we broke up than before. He would be very angry if I don't reply to him soon, or not answering to his date invitation, or to pick me up at office, etc. we both have hard time being separated like now. But, if I remember of what has happened, I feel really awful and nasty. Why me, why him, why he was doing that? I still could not believe that he's been doing that during our first-year relationship. How could I trust you from now on? All those bad pictures and imaginations would come up everytime, really everytime, every moment.
He did 't even think about me when he did that nasty thing. Why would I think about him right now? But if I do not care about him, he will be very mad, saying that he's very sad, mad at our situation, etc, like he was doing nothing's wrong and I am the mean one to break up with him while he is here in Jakarta with me.
If you ask me now whether he and I end up to a wedding, I would say NOT SURE. I forgive but I don't forget. How could I be assured that he won't do it again, while he's been doing that for three times in a year. Shit.
I will stand on my own, show him and the world that I can stand by myself. That I can get what I want, I do things my way and I will be successful for what I am doing right now.
Everyone said that I am too independent. Well, No other choice. I have to be independent so that I can be sure that I get what I want in my own way.Still questioning, why he did that...
Really have no clues where life brings me.
I've been missing Paris so much these days and was dreaming how IF I live in Paris.
