Hitch-hiking

During Toussaints holiday, we went to Château de Chenonceau, not so far from Orléans. It was a very fun day. The weather was nice, and we're adventuring a little bit. So we only bought one-way ticket just to keep our plan opened. After visiting the château, we wanted to go to Tours, but the train was in 2 hours, and we missed the bus already. We asked all the private-bus drivers if they could take us with them, and they said no, as they were all private bus booked by tourists.  One of the bus driver said to us that he was going to Tours, but his passengers would not be happy to have foreigners - us - with them along the return trip.

We were thinking to return to Orléans, but the train to Orléans was also in 2 hours. So I came up with the idea of hitch-hiking. =D.. It was not easy because we're four, it means we had to find somebody who was driving alone to Tours during the weekday at working hours.   It was very funny for us. Among four of us, it was only me who had ever done it. There were a lot of cars starring at us because it's kinda impossible to get a lift for 4 persons.  We're looking at all cars which were passing by. And whenever there was a car with only one person inside, we all felt so excited and saud 'perfect target'. But, most of them were looking at us and show the '4' fingers to us. Yes, we're four, and that's a lot.  Good news, a French lady was on her way to work in Tours and she was alone! Perfect! We're so happy to finally get a lift and yes, we also explored Tours that day. =)

what should I do (next)?

I could hardly sleep for the last several nights.  I am under stressed now.  No, you won't see it on my face nor on my daily acts. I am an expert in hiding my true feelings.  I have thousand things running on my head and it never stop even when I really wish thel to stop, simply to get a bit of rest. 

One question, what should I do next?

It's end of October now, which means I am so close to the deadline to make decision for my life.  Do I sound like exaggerattingsimple thing? It's a big thing for me. I am not a person who can enjoy her life without making any progress to get closer to start stepping on the future. 

Some options available:

a. go home, start up my career in business development with lowest salary ever, and say au revoir to France and Europe

b. stay in France and not knowing if I can find a good internship, I mean, the one in the business development field, as I always want

c. start my own event organizer business in my hometown

d. find a job based on the salary with no interest at all

Okay, options a and b are running my head without a break. I hate being in a situation that I don't even know where I will be in the next two months.  Option c is my other dream that I might do it if I decided to live with my parents. and option d, ahh forget it. That's the last thing I will do in my 25-year-old age.

It does not seem like I will find my answer anytime soon. Writing helps me a lot to relieve my pain and random debates on my head. I am writing not to complain and let people read my pain. As i said, this is a memory that I have ever been in such situation that will make me stronger the next time I reread it. 

Anw, there is a multinational company who offered me a very good intership in Indonesia by the beginning of this year, and again now. I don't know how to respond. There are part of me who wants to stay in France for a bit longer, other wants to start my career soon back home.

Taking chances is rarely about overcoming your fears. The truth is everytime you take a big risk in your life, no matter how it ends up, you are always glad you took it. - annonymous- 

my little heaven

It's been a very long time since my latest post on July 12, and there are a thousand thing happen to me since then. I re-read my previous post on July 1 about my entire plan 'til end of August, and it's such an undescribale feeling to read them all. Most of the plans went as I planned, but not all of them. Well, I don't want to remind myself how annoying it was when things didn't go as it have been planned. So forget about it! 

Taizé, summer 2013

The best thing is I went to my little heaven for 5 weeks, and it was so amazing. I met a lot of amazing friends there, and yes we all agree that no words and nobody can really express the feeling of being there unless you experience it yourself. It was my second time being in my little heaven, and it's definitely not my last time.  

It was so hard to leave the little heaven.  But I know I got all the experience that I would never forget, and it will help creating the better me.  

I travelled around middle Europe, Budapest, Vienna and Prague, with a friend for about a week, and I found out that Vienna is so amazing! It is now my favorite city in all Europe so far.  Then I went home on the Aug 29 and it was the best feeling ever to arrive at Soekarno-Hatta airport, even it was midnight time, and my sister was somewhere I didn't know, and I didn't have the Indonesian mobile number, plus I thought I almost faint after 24hrs journey.

About the time I spent ome, it was so precious. It was a time of reflection for myself, and for what I am looking for my future as a woman, as a person, as a daughter, as a sister, as a friend, and as who I want to be.  *to be continued

Paris to Orléans

and another year...
So I 'm back to Orléans by myself, just like the very first time.  I don't understand, but since I arrived at the CDG airport this morning, all my positive thinking started to fade away.  When I was home, I was very positive about everything. I didn't worry about what's gonna happen next. I didn't even try to find out what I might have to face once I arrive. But now, it's really the opposite.

I start to worry about my staying permit, the new housing engagement, the study, like everything becomes miserable.  It's really me who suddenly change and be worry about all unclear things.  I actually wonder, the first time I arrived last year, I was not this worry.  But why now, when I have been living in the country for a year, I am being worry more than the first time. Weird.  I should overcome this feeling as I know He takes care of me.