jadi panitia lagi

Weekend ini gue ikut jadi panitia acara Eurolympique di Paris. Sempet ragu-ragu waktu daftar karena ngerasa uda bukan waktunya lagi utk gue ikutan acara bgtun. Gue ud ngabisin ckup banyak waktu utk aktif di byk kegiatan selama kuliah di atma. Tp somehow g ngerasa kangen jadi panitia acar, dan juga pengent. Gimana sih kalau ppi bikin acara, dan juga g belum pernah jadi panitia acar olahraga. So here i am. Hari ini gue jadi panitia , juga besok. Dan yah, ternyata gue kangen berat jadi panitia acara bgtu. Dan gjr sangat menikmati hari ini!

Salah satu bukti bahwa gue harus berani mencoba dan mengikuti kata hati. Dengan begitu gue akan tahu ada apa di balik pintu itu.

En retard

These days I have this bad habit of being late, either to the office or to meeting appointments. This is really not a good habit. Like today, i was so late to an event because I could not wake up early in the morning. I felt very ashamed when I arrived today because I feel that I am the worst ever. I should not be late for such day. Okay it is not a big deal for them, but for me, i feel so bad about this. And now it's 22.10 and I force my self to sleep because I am so afraid to be late for tomorrow. 

I need to change this silly habit. I need to manage my time better, if not, one day, I might lose a good chance just because of being late. 

Mission starts tomorrow.

Chillin' out

I was walking around Paris for hours and hours with Asti. We started from our place to Montmarte, then to jardin du luxembourg, which was super nice, and continued to have our picnic time in ile saint louis.

It was very nice that we were walking along the riverside from île-saint-louis until the eiffel tower. I saw a lot of things that I had never know before. Around the riverside after musee d'orsay, there are places for kinds and people to play rollerblade, skate board, kids in the playing ground area, and also people who are just drinking and chilling out. There are tables there where they have the ludo, chess pattern and some other games. I didn't know this area before. Then we continued walking and found theworld map, animals painting, alphabets, numbers, and some other street art there.

Surprisingly, around the pont alexandre 3, there are a lot of cafes filled with crowds of french young businessman and women. It was around 7 pm, and yes, everybody was drinking and chilling out in the riverside, with heels on the toes and wine on the hand. I was so surprised. Because they are really young business executive, with their suits and formal working outfits. Right after pont alexandre 3, there was a very alive restaurant with music and open bartender and kitchen. They are not really eating anything. You can see the wine and champagne bottles in every table. Sow, they do enjoy their lives. It was thursday night, not even Friday night. 

It's another life of Paris that I had never known before.

la bible

Finally I got the bible have been looking for. It's in English and in French. Hope this can be another way for me to learn as well as understanding more God's way of life.

curious or care

"Only a few people actually care. The rest are just curious".

There are some quotes that stay forever in your mind because it somehow realtes to you, or you feel like it's so right, something really happens but i never realized it before. Just like this quote. This is one of not-so-mày quotes that i keep in mind, and keep on reminding myself about the meaning of this quote. People don't care, they are just too curious. 

Now I can see some people around me who do really care and some others who are just curious. Curious about my future plan, curious about how I survive, curious about how I get and spend the money, curious about shether I am happy ornnot. Even after you answer their questions, or telling them th your life is not as good as you expect, they don't even give you another second to explain. They just want to get the answer of their questions. 

As I grow up, I meet some of these two types of people. For the first type, I definitely can share my happiness, worries and thoughts. For the second one, You'll see me as the happiest girl alive! Don't be too curious about other's life, as it has nothing to do with you.

Easter vigile

For this Saturday mass, I decided to go to the english mass because Normally for special celebration, the wordings are even more complicated. To avoind not understanding the meaning of the mass, I went to the english one at St. Joseph's church near Arc de Triumph. I was surprised because there were quite number of people there. The church is another beautiful and simple version of God's house. One thing I don't like is that people were so noisy before the mass started. I remembered once a brother of Taize told me that by the time we enter the church, we prepare ourselves to God. In other words, we are supposed to keep silent in order to respect others who are preparing themselves for God. 

It's not only to be silent during the mass, but also by the time you step into the church. 

Anyway, maybe it's just another different habit of people and its church.

We started by gathering outside the church to light the paschal candle. And then the priest followed by us, we entered the church with the candles in our hand, and started the celebration. There was baptism and confirmation for some people, which reminded me of, again, how blessed I have been to discover and know Jesus in my life since my baptism during easter 6 years ago. The baptism was also unique. Every of them was pourred with blessed water, and then they sign the baptism certificate and got the bible and certificate as the welcoming gift to the community of Jesus. 

The priest was hilarious during the mass. He was very funny, communicative, nd was able to bring up the good atmosphere during the 2-hour mass. Before the last blessing, he gave egg chocolates to kids in the church. Lovely. I am sure those kids are bery happy even only with one small egg chocolate from a very lovely easter santa. The mass was really alove and i didn't feel bored at all.

Très joyeuses des pâques 21.04.14

For Sunday mass, I went to Madeleine. It is one of my favorite churches so far. It was a nice Easter mass and pretty short, only one hour. 

At the end I was saying happy easter to one of the priests and he asked me where do I come from, and he speaks a little bit indonesia. Nice to find people speaking indonesian.

Jeudi et Vendredi saint

I have been so lucky to experience easter this year in Paris. Last year I was in sicily and it was more to holiday than experiencing the real three holy-days celebration. So for the white Thursday and Holy Friday, I wen to the church near my place. I was so lazy and have decided not to go to the chruch but then I remembered how blessed I have been in my life, and there is not reason to not saying thank you to God for what I have. So I finally went to the mass. And yes, it was very interesting one.

During white thrusday, in St. Geneviève church, the room was set like a big dinner room, just like the last supper that Jesus had with his disciples. In the middle there was a long table and everyone was sitting around the table, including the priest. They decoreated the table with real bread, flowers, some candles and lights. I was sitting very close to the priest and the small altar at the end of the table. I have never been so close to the altar like that ever. The church itself was very different from other old church that you can find wherever you go in France. It was pretty modern with the modern style altar, but still very simple and beautiful. I could watch what the priest was really doing around the altar, especially when he was asking for bless for the bread and wine. It was interesting for me to see that. And then at the end of the mass, the priest brought the goblet to the backyard of the church, followed by everyone. He put the goblet, candles and flowers in one small table in the backyard, and we were praying around the goblet. I was not so sure what's that mean, I'll check out later. 

The 2-hour mass was not boring at all.

-Nous sommes le corps du Christ

Chacun de nous est un membre de ce corps

Chacun reçoit la grâce de l'esprit,

Pour le bien du corps entier

Then on friday, again, i was so lazy to go to the mass, but again He calls me to come to Him. Znd I am thankful for that. I got another experience that friday. Like elsewhere, there was the story of how Jésus was sentenced by Pilatus. This time is in French, and yes I can understand te main story, but just could not catch all the words, especially when the choir, as the farisians, sang so beautifully that I could not understand at all. Then we also had the time when we kissed the cross. In Jakarta, as there are many people, the church prepares several mini cross so people make several lines and kiss that cross. But yesterday, we lined up to the big and only cross in the church. It was like around 200-250 people, so it took quite sometime. I felt so sleepy by the time we finished the mass. :D

O père, dans tes mains, je remets mon esprit

A place called home for them

Big cities mean big issues. One of them is the homeless people in the city.  I have been living in Paris for several months, and yes it becomes a very common view to see homeless people in the metro station, in front of an empty building, in a bench, in a station or bus terminal, everywhere.  If they are lucky enough, they might have a corner in a warm metro station.  But not all metrro stations are warm enough. I do freeze most of the time eventhough I only pass by in the metro station at night. Being homeless may be the only option they have. Being homeless everywhere in this world is not nice at all. But I feel really sorry for those in Paris.  It's very cold everynight during the year. Even if it's summer time, at night it is still very cold.  I pay attention of how they survive. Some of them have dogs with with them because it will give them some level of warmth.  The other, they cover their body with any clothes they have.  They do drink a lot of wine to keep their body warm too.

I passed by plaza republique after my french class last week. I saw a family of a dad, mom and their kid, sleeping in front of a reconstructed buidling.  Their roof is those temporary stairs made for the reconstruction work.  Not so far from their 'home', there is a Crowne Plaza Hotel. How life is so not fair for them.  It was really sad for me to see their condition.  Then in the metro statin, I saw one guy, that I have seen several times, he was just sitting there and drinking beer. I suppose that metro station is his 'home'. There were two girls trying to communicate with him. And he showed them that he has a mark of kinda accident on his left feet. He is old. He is very quite. His face is very calm. He looks really like a nice and peaceful person.  He lives alone, I guess, and that really makes me sad.

In a city where everybody is coming to but a thousand dollar bag, there are those people freezing at night in their 'home'. Their only heater is either hugging a dog or drinking.  You might say that they are so silly to spend their money for the alcohol drink. But have you ever thought that in such situation where you have no other option to be happy about what you have, drinking can help you to make days pass faster. Even if another new day is coming, is there any hope for a new life, a new home, a better condition of living? Some of them are drunk in the metro station but they have never been annoying, to me at least. I am not afraid with them eventhough I have to be in a metro station at midnight by myself. They won't even try to touch you nor talking to you.  At such case, I hate more those unresponsible kids who are drinking for fun, spending money for smoking weeds and then go back home and stay under their parents' armpit as they can't survive themselves.

I do really hope they can have a place called home for them one day, especially for that old man in the Republique metro station.

Going to Sunday mass

I have been going to Saturday/Sunday for quite sometime in France. i go many different church both in Orleans and in Paris. I am still amazed everytime u go to one church for the first time. The churches are all beautiful with its original construction, painting, sculptures, statue, glass window, the sun shining us inside the church, the cold stone in winter, etc.
From all churches that i have ever been so far, it creates one similarity, it's pretty empty. Well, of course it doesn't apply for Notre Dame Paris and Basilique Sacre Coeur which are touristique places.

At the beginning i was very surprised to see not so many people in the church. Back in jakarta, i have to be there at least 30 minutes before in order to get a seat inside the church. If you' re there just in time, you'll stand outsided the church and hear nothing actually.  But here, incan be there just one minute before the bell stops ringing, and I can get a front-row seat, for sure.  I sometimes see some young people in the church, but it pretty rare. Most of them are old and very old believers. You'll see pretty young couple in their 30s with their baby. It's quite cheering. I remembered one time in Jeanne d'arc church in Orleans, the one collecting the donation was a very very very really old man, who has hard time to walk around the church and he was shaking while holding the small basket for the money.  I really can't forget that moment. It was really sad to see that there are only these old people left in the church.  It's a very common view to see the old father walks by himself to the altar, without any cardinal nor any young man helping him.  Another day, one woman asked me if I would like to sing in the church because there's almost nobody singing in the church.  I would really love too, but I can't.  I have issue with my French level and my not-so-nice voice of course. 

If you come earlier before the mass starts, you'll find out that they have nobody ready for reading the bible, they usually ask anybody in the front seat to read.

This is really different from where I come from.  In Jakarta and Lampung, there are even 'committees' for each mass held in the church. They organize everything, they have the special uniform sometimes, there are young people helping the father in the altar area, there are a group of choir, they are there to help you finding an empty seat in the middle of the crowd, there are tvs and slide to make sure everyone can see what's going on in the altar.  Those are all doubled during the special day like easter or noel.  There are also practices for the youth to read the bible for the mass, practices for the choir, practices to be one of those helping the father.

I am not trying to show which one is the best, not at all. This is simply a personal note for myself. In a country where you can find churches just several steps from wherever you live, the situation is surprising. But i do learn that it's not about making everything perfect for the mass celebration. It can be as simple as how they do it here. It's the purpose of being in the house of God that make people still come to the church. It was not a matter of committees nor the crowd. It's about praising God in any way possible.  I will not forget those very cold days in the church, that old shaking man, the sound of the very old big organ in the church. And many reflected moments i have in His house

Too curious

Several days ago I was reading news about the scholarship to New Zealand. Then i did a little bit of research to find out about the programs, etc.  2 years ago, Mera told me about this too but at that time I was concentrating to register to the university in France, and France becomes my biggest dream that time. So I didnn't really pay attention to 'studying in NZ issue'.  Then I again saw article about this and it interests me. Just that night, i was really into applying to the school for another master and for the scholarship. I was already really thought about applying without telling anyone, especially my mom.  But then the next day, I asked Mele and Tepa about their opinions if I again take another master study.  Frankly, everybody does not agree, with different point of view. It's the best i can have with these two best friends, because they always come up with ideas that I had never thought before. Tepa with her chinese-old parental point of view and mele with a modern one.

Their opinions make a good sense. Then I brought up this question to my mom.  She directly said no, without even asking me what, why, when, how, etc.  The reason is because I have enough for study now and it's time to work, get married and start a family, or I will be too old to get married while the whole world is planning their wedding anytime soon.  'What will others think if you keep on studying and not getting married?' I don't appreciate this, at all. I know I am not that young anymore. I will be 26 this year and need to start my career soon. Plus I don't have a bf nor planning any wed soon. But it should not be the reason to refuse my will to study.  I was disappointed though. I don't appreciate when my mom starts to talk about 'what others think....'. I keep on saying to her, it doesn't matter what others think. They neither help nor care about what is happening in our life. Why should we waste time to think about what they think about us?

You can give me a million reason to refuse my proposal and i will consider it, but never it be about what others think.  I am who I am now because I stand by myself doing what I love to do, not about what others love who I should become.
"They don't care. They are just too curious". So, keep your plans to yourself.