Hitch-hiking

During Toussaints holiday, we went to Château de Chenonceau, not so far from Orléans. It was a very fun day. The weather was nice, and we're adventuring a little bit. So we only bought one-way ticket just to keep our plan opened. After visiting the château, we wanted to go to Tours, but the train was in 2 hours, and we missed the bus already. We asked all the private-bus drivers if they could take us with them, and they said no, as they were all private bus booked by tourists.  One of the bus driver said to us that he was going to Tours, but his passengers would not be happy to have foreigners - us - with them along the return trip.

We were thinking to return to Orléans, but the train to Orléans was also in 2 hours. So I came up with the idea of hitch-hiking. =D.. It was not easy because we're four, it means we had to find somebody who was driving alone to Tours during the weekday at working hours.   It was very funny for us. Among four of us, it was only me who had ever done it. There were a lot of cars starring at us because it's kinda impossible to get a lift for 4 persons.  We're looking at all cars which were passing by. And whenever there was a car with only one person inside, we all felt so excited and saud 'perfect target'. But, most of them were looking at us and show the '4' fingers to us. Yes, we're four, and that's a lot.  Good news, a French lady was on her way to work in Tours and she was alone! Perfect! We're so happy to finally get a lift and yes, we also explored Tours that day. =)

what should I do (next)?

I could hardly sleep for the last several nights.  I am under stressed now.  No, you won't see it on my face nor on my daily acts. I am an expert in hiding my true feelings.  I have thousand things running on my head and it never stop even when I really wish thel to stop, simply to get a bit of rest. 

One question, what should I do next?

It's end of October now, which means I am so close to the deadline to make decision for my life.  Do I sound like exaggerattingsimple thing? It's a big thing for me. I am not a person who can enjoy her life without making any progress to get closer to start stepping on the future. 

Some options available:

a. go home, start up my career in business development with lowest salary ever, and say au revoir to France and Europe

b. stay in France and not knowing if I can find a good internship, I mean, the one in the business development field, as I always want

c. start my own event organizer business in my hometown

d. find a job based on the salary with no interest at all

Okay, options a and b are running my head without a break. I hate being in a situation that I don't even know where I will be in the next two months.  Option c is my other dream that I might do it if I decided to live with my parents. and option d, ahh forget it. That's the last thing I will do in my 25-year-old age.

It does not seem like I will find my answer anytime soon. Writing helps me a lot to relieve my pain and random debates on my head. I am writing not to complain and let people read my pain. As i said, this is a memory that I have ever been in such situation that will make me stronger the next time I reread it. 

Anw, there is a multinational company who offered me a very good intership in Indonesia by the beginning of this year, and again now. I don't know how to respond. There are part of me who wants to stay in France for a bit longer, other wants to start my career soon back home.

Taking chances is rarely about overcoming your fears. The truth is everytime you take a big risk in your life, no matter how it ends up, you are always glad you took it. - annonymous- 

my little heaven

It's been a very long time since my latest post on July 12, and there are a thousand thing happen to me since then. I re-read my previous post on July 1 about my entire plan 'til end of August, and it's such an undescribale feeling to read them all. Most of the plans went as I planned, but not all of them. Well, I don't want to remind myself how annoying it was when things didn't go as it have been planned. So forget about it! 

Taizé, summer 2013

The best thing is I went to my little heaven for 5 weeks, and it was so amazing. I met a lot of amazing friends there, and yes we all agree that no words and nobody can really express the feeling of being there unless you experience it yourself. It was my second time being in my little heaven, and it's definitely not my last time.  

It was so hard to leave the little heaven.  But I know I got all the experience that I would never forget, and it will help creating the better me.  

I travelled around middle Europe, Budapest, Vienna and Prague, with a friend for about a week, and I found out that Vienna is so amazing! It is now my favorite city in all Europe so far.  Then I went home on the Aug 29 and it was the best feeling ever to arrive at Soekarno-Hatta airport, even it was midnight time, and my sister was somewhere I didn't know, and I didn't have the Indonesian mobile number, plus I thought I almost faint after 24hrs journey.

About the time I spent ome, it was so precious. It was a time of reflection for myself, and for what I am looking for my future as a woman, as a person, as a daughter, as a sister, as a friend, and as who I want to be.  *to be continued

Paris to Orléans

and another year...
So I 'm back to Orléans by myself, just like the very first time.  I don't understand, but since I arrived at the CDG airport this morning, all my positive thinking started to fade away.  When I was home, I was very positive about everything. I didn't worry about what's gonna happen next. I didn't even try to find out what I might have to face once I arrive. But now, it's really the opposite.

I start to worry about my staying permit, the new housing engagement, the study, like everything becomes miserable.  It's really me who suddenly change and be worry about all unclear things.  I actually wonder, the first time I arrived last year, I was not this worry.  But why now, when I have been living in the country for a year, I am being worry more than the first time. Weird.  I should overcome this feeling as I know He takes care of me.

I heart VIE

We also visited Vienna, a beautifully elegant city. I love the city so much. Everything is much more expensive that the other two cities, just like in Paris, but the city is really worth to visit. For me, it's not the old building or the orchestra that amazes me, but the environment while I was there. The city is modern and the people are mostly very elegant during the day and night. There are many cafes in small street which are all beautiful. One night, I went to a quartier, and there was a guy playing cello. he was a street musician, i guess. But he really doesn.t look like one. I would prefer to say that he is a musician who wants to practice while entertaining people.  The music he produced was really a high class one. Something you'd expect when you are in Opera house. I enjoyed it so much. I fell in love with the city since that moment. Where can you walk around and listen to amazingly beautiful play and then stop by in one of the small cafes insteadof in Vienna?

During the day, it was also amazing. The main road was very nice, and everything looks so expensive but once again, worth to visit. The buildings are all beautiful like in Paris, in addition, the systems, the transportation, the arrangement of benches in the street, etc., all are like in Germany, very well-arranged.  Imagine a mixture of Parisian old buildings, the German modern system and the elegant people of tourists and locals, that's Europe for me. I will revisit the city, with my special one, someday.

  

Budapest et Praha

The road trip to middle Europe was quite surprising. First, I was surprised about the city of Budapest. The city was beautiful and nice, but I was surprised that It was pretty small and not crowded at all. Okay maybe I get used to live in Jakarta, with more than 17millions of people for years. But in my mind, the cities in Europe, without exception, are all crowded, modern and alive. That's why I was so surprised to find that some cities, eventhought they are capital cities, are pretty small and quiet, such as Budapest and Prague.

I like Budapest, it doesn't feel like it is part of Europe. It is very different, from the number of people, the buildings, the transportation, the speed of people during rush hour, etc. I had never could really understand what does it mean 'under Soviet Union regime' until I see it there. I saw so many remarks of how the SU had been very powerful in the past.  From the type of people, the old transportation vehicles, etc.  I went to the traditional market and expect nothing than paprika. Yes, they eat paprika a lot, even on their dessert. The food was more tasty and the goulash was very delicious.

I like the area of the castle, a bit at the top of the city. It was very nice there, and the area are just great. One remark about Budapest is the guys are averagely handsome. I even ask Sarolta, how could she have a French boyfriend instead of those good-looking Hungarian? Ahh and one more, one of their popular souvenirs is the fat policeman. The story is that the city is very safe that their policemen were all becoming very fat. =D

Prague was another small but nice cit to visit. The main spots are the Charles bridge and the palace. Don't expect the big palace like in the movie, it was pretty small in fact. The area is big but it consists of churches, restaurant, etc. But walking down from the palace to the main street was another experience to enjoy the city. The astronomical clock was not as special as I thought, but the area was the main tourism spot, so we found lots of local foods there.  The jewish area was interesting for me. Honestly, I never really know what is Jewish, because in Indonesia, It's not legally recognized so I never learn about it in school. I don't remember exactly, but there was a place where our tour guide told us about how the kids were kidnapped to be part of them at that time and they expressed their feeling at that time by drawing.  

Ahh there was also a statue of 'dementor', exactly like in the harry potter movie. Maybe J.K. Rowling got the inspiration from that statue. There was also a quartier, in which one side is the hotel owned by the american, and the other side is the cubiczl building used to belong to the jewish. They said that Hitler loves Prague so much that he allows the Jewish area not to be demolished there, not like in other area. Good job! That's how the history should be learned by the young generations. 

Another story is the St. Anne church. In the past, everything in the church were made from gold, and the church was also open for anyone, without being guarded. Then one day, a guy came to steal the crown of St. Anne, but his hand was being hold by the statue of St. Anne and he couldn't move his hand at all. Then the next day, the priest saw what happened and nobody could help him. They were planning to bring a big saw to cut the hand. The thief was thinking that it was the hand of the statue that would be cut off. But the priest said 'no, it's you who come to this place and intend to take what is not yours. It has nothing to do with the statue.' So at the end, his hand was being cut off, and it was still hanging there, as a lesson for other people. And the guy was working in the church as a mean of apology.  I saw the very small hand there near the statue. I don't know whether the story was true or not, but for me, the lesson is more important.

do you think time flies?

Bonsoir,

Ce soir est la dernière nuit de rester chez le 310. J’ai déjà dit au revoir a mes voisins, Loubna, Reda et Rafiou. On a veçu dans la résidence pendant 10 mois, et je eux aime bien. Ils sont mes mieux voisins depuis le 17 septembre 2012. C’est difficile de dire au revoir à eux car je ne sais pas quand nous nous allons rencontre en future. J’espère tout va bien pour eux, bonne continuation, bonne vacances et bon ramadan aussi.

Dans cette chambre, j’ai bcp des souvenirs, de bonne heure et de triste. Quand j’ai arrivé, je me suis choqué car la chambre est différente que dans la vidéo que j’ai regardé sur ligne avant d’arriver. En plus, j’ai peur car c’était vraiment la première fois j’ai habité seul, nouvelle vie, nouvelle pays, nouvelle chambre, nouveaux voisins, nouveaux amis, nouvelle langue, etc. Mais, en fin je l’aime bien, la place privée de moi, ou j’ai passé l’automne, l’hiver, le printemps jusqu'à l’été. Il y a le lit ou je regarde bcp des films, le table ou j’étude et les lumières que je n’aime pas. Les me manquent.

Aujourd’hui est le dernier jour du stage au l'IUFM CVL. Je suis contente de le faire là et j’ai d’expérience et d’imagination du travail au bureau relations internationales. Nina, ma supervisera, est très gentille aussi, elle m’aide bcp. Je n’oublie pas Iwona, Sylvie, Valérie, Florian, Nubile, Olivier et bien sur la phrase « tu peux un petit café ? »

Alors, tout le monde est en train de boucher au prochain chapitre de sa vie, et moi aussi.