He takes care of me

I was so excited about what's going to happen in July. I even had published my whole month schedule, something I rarely do in my entire life. I normally don't tell people about my exact plan until the very last minute or at least when everything is really well-planned. But the last time I did write it on my blog, and unfortunately, my plans didn't go well. =(

I went to la préfecture last Friday. I have been always nervous to go through all administrative process ever since I take care of it myself. Especially in France, because as once they say NO, it will really affect my day and my entire plan. So last Friday, as you can predict, they said no because they required another document from the University. So basically because my visa will expire by beginning of September, they apply different requirement with those expire in August. What an annoying reason. I tried to argue, but the lady kept on saying 'je dois respecter la loi'. So I went out from the office and if you saw my face, I was about to scream at anybody who disturbed me on my way home.

On Friday and Saturday I was still so mad at what has happened. However, on Sunday, I had felt much better after going to the church. Suddenly I re-think about the obstacle I have and how I respond to it. I remember the word from Taizé "Being worry won't change anything. God knows everything and He will take care of it". I am not a really religious person. I do believe in God and I do believe that He takes care of me, really. That's why I suddenly feel that "If I do believe that He takes care of me, why do I worry this much?"

Voila, I realize that I still cannot let go the worries in my life. I am learning to let it go and I am not successful yet. However, I am willing to be better. Everytime I have problems, I keep on remembering that I had passed the worst moment, when my brother was in the hospital, and nothing else can be worse than that. So at the moment, I am still having that worries feeling deep inside my heart, but I am trying to keep myself busy and not overthink about what might/could/would happen.

This song also helps me to remind myself that I shouldn't worry about things that won't happen to me.
Living in the moment - Jason Mraz
I will not waste my days
Making up all kinds of ways
To worry about all the things
That will not happen to me

So I just let go of what I know I don't know
And I know I only do this by
Living in the moment
Living my life Easy and breezy
With peace in my mind
I got peace in my heart
Got peace in my soul
Wherever I'm going, I'm already home
I'm living in the moment

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YUFs_1vKYlY