les habitudes nouvelles

Alors, j'ai plusieurs habitudes et choses nouvelles dans ma vie. Je les liste pour moi seule donc quand je serai veille, je pourrai les lire et les mettrai un sourire chez moi. 

• J'adore les fromages (mimolette, camembert, rustique, brebis, gouda, édam, babybel, raclette, emmental, la vache qui rit, brie, mozzarella, , roquefort, etc)!
• baguette, fromage et jambon (+tomate, salade, sauce saumurai, poivre noir, cornichons) est le plus délicieux sandwich;
• un grand café con lait ou cappuccino est obligatoire pendant le matin;
• une dessert est essentiel après les repas (mousse chocolat, crémé dessert,yaourt, fruits, jus d'orange, chocolat au lait) ;
• le kaki est mon nouveau fruit favorite;
• la figue est pas mal aussi;
• le yaourt plain avec la confiture/les céréales/les fruits - être santé;
• piment est très piquant;
• le paprika est dans ma liste des légumes;
• barre céréalière est mon snack en ce moment; 
• une salade est devenu un plat complet (avec le fromage du brebis);
• le fromage du brebis plus la tomate est toujours un couple;
• faire du cuisine est un des mes activités favorites;
• vais à la marché traditionnelle en samedi matin est une activité intéressant;
• jamais dis non quand mes amies m'invitent aller au supermarché;
• Youtube est mon nouveau ligne du télé;
• prends les vitamines souvent;
• je suis vraiment intéressée au soin de la peau et des maquillages ( je suis une jeune femme =P)
• fais attention à moi seule plus qu'avant (cheveux, corps, visage, peau);
• être bien-habillée est vraiment nécessaire tous les temps (veste, pantalon, chaussures) - même si on n'a que un cour;
• mes mains ne sont pas survivre à l'eau ou le climat froid;
• les bottes avec talon, l'escarpin et le manteaux sont mon habillement quotidienne;
• ne peut pas dormir sans porter des chaussettes, même si pendant l'été;
• intéressée à la politique de mon pays;
• l'accent britannique est géniale!

Voila, c'est tout!

BB3

I always say to myself that people grow up.  When people grow up, does it mean they change? Literally yes, but it's not exactly the same like when people change intendedly.  Nobody can stay as he/se used to be for such a long time. Even if yes, it means something is wrong with them.  Sometimes I miss some friends as they grow up and then grow apart. We are no longer in the same interest, no longer in the same habits, no monger in the same situation.  When it happens, especially to some people that I hope we never grow apart, I am sad.  I miss our stupid and silly conversation and the no-hesitation-feeling of contacting each other eventhough we have nothing important to say.  I said once, "as people change, most of the time they are also away from your life".  

I remembered when i left my country in Sept 2012, my friend said to me, 'don't be a different person after living in France'. What she meant is 'do not turn into a stranger that she doesn't know anymore just because you live abroad, you have higher educatin, you have different friends and environment'. I always remember what she said. She is my best friend and i know she says the truth, always.

2013

2010

So do I change, after 1,5 years? I don't, but I grow up, in which I think create a 'me' of the moment, from the psychological view, surviving level in life, appreciation to life and people and point of view of many abstract things.
In fact, most of the time, I have hesitation to answer when people ask me about how my life has been. I am afraid of them thinking that I am showing off. Okay, I shouldn't care about what others think about me. But I am on the process and it's not that easy though.  Plus, I have in mind that it's enough that people who care about me know that I am fine and happy with what I have and achieve so far. They know me the most and I think they are the ones who deserve to be informed about myself in deep. Let's say, my best friends, they said they are proud of me, and they are very happy for me because I do deserve it after all the effort. When they say that, It's another quote I keep in mind to remind myself that I am blessed to have all I have and to have them reminding me of what I have. I know they are the bestest friends in life, to whom i would never have to hide, lie or pretend.

And yes, the last time I met them, one and half month ago, they agreed with me saying that I do grow up and I don't change to a bitch. :p

J'aime l'automne

Agée de 25 ans

Days ago was my 25th birthday and yes, once again, I celebreated it in France. I didn't throw party with fellas on that day, but I did celebrate the process of being 25.  

I was not expecting anything special for the birthday. No cakes, a single bday card ( Mele said she'll send me one), no birthday song.  Sad? Not all. On that day I thought a lot about my life, about what I had been through, the decision I took, the people I have around me, and many more. I was happy to have my friends and family sending me birthday wishes, especially my family and best friends.  

Several days before the birthday, I was thinking about the age of 25. I did type on Google about 'being 25', 'what should I do at the age of 25', 'how does it feel to be 25'.  I really did that. =D.. You might think that I was being too sentimental, and I was not ready to be 25. It wasn't the reason. For me, I wanted to find out about my self better after living for 25 years. I wanna know if I've been doing well with my life, if I've been doing what I like, if I have any regret so far, etc. It's not easy to really know yourself, at least in my case. So I sometimes need someone else to tell me about my self or simply by reading someone's idea of something through his/her blog/articles and agree with them about some ideas that also happen to you. 

I found several interesting articles about how you might psychologically feel when you are at certain age, what might comes to your mind, and how to deal with it. I don't have psychological issue or being understressed or whatsoever, It's just nice to have some nice articles to read about what will happen at certain time in your life, and to know that you're on the right track. That I have same worries as others do, same expectations as others, same questions as others and same curiosity about future as well.  

Indeed, my birthday was more on a reflection time for myself. It was a very meaningful one for me. I am not saying I am too old for parties and beers, etc., but why should I grabbed beers if that was not what I really wanted for that day? I learn that being an adult means knowing what you really want in life, starting from the simplest thing. And I did have my beer by the weekend.=)

I am 25 and several days now, and I am happy about it. I have been receiving a lot of blessings in my life, and I believe it goes on.  I am happy to be who I am now and to do what I am doing right now. I have doubts and fear of future but I know that present is always only once in a life time, let's enjoy it.

I made my birthday wishes and I believe wishes coming true. 

p.s: surprisingly, I received some gifts from my friends here. It really made my day. Thanks to you!

Being a student

I'm in the multiculturalism of United kingdom class now. I'm not that interested to the topic but i like the teacher a lot, especially for his British accent. His accent is so elegant and favorable to listen to.  I have been studying American english, its pronunciation and its slang words for ages, but British accent is always special. This is another reason why I really want to go to London and hear this British accent everywhere there. *fingers crossed*

In the mean time, I have been thinking about my situation. Okay, I admit, I think too much, but it's something that comes to mind spontaneously, how could I avoid it?  I will have my lectures until third week of December and then exams until first week of January.  That's very soon! The studying period according to French system is shorter than the one in Indonesia.  Plus, there are always holidays on every 2 months here.  At first, I was surprised, but now I do enjoy it so much, the break. :).

Since I am going to finish my 'being a student' period, I have this awkward feeling deep in my heart.  It's between the feeling of missing this moment of sitting in the class and listening to the teacher.  The flawless conversation, jokes and debates within classmates, mocking up the other's countries of our friends, multiculturalism environment in and outside the class, all very open discussion related to the topic.  At first, I thought that this daily debates and discussion among us and the teacher in class is normal for western students. But when we had classes with other students, from other master major, with the French students, it was so different.  They tend to be very passive in class, and do not really respond to any questions or informations said by the teacher.  Then I realized that I have been very lucky to be registered in this batch and have those as my classmates.  There are some reasons behind that flawless debates, first, we don't have any language barrier among us, so it really builds up the good atmosphere in the class.  Second, we know each other quite well and we know that none of this discussion will be taken into serious consideration eventhough we're mocking up at other's countries issues, as we discuss a lot about the worldwide economic situation nowadays. Moreover, we are very multicultural, that we are 25 students coming from 17 nationalities and 4 continents. So you can imagine how dynamic the situation is in the class.  People from different countries ranging from 23 to 35 years old with different educational and working background gather in a place and discuss one topic. It's probably something I won't find anywhere else.

I don't miss the time being under pressure for having not enough time to read all those articles before the exams or classes. For all the time I have to set aside sitting in front of my laptop trying to get the ideas to be discussed in my papers.  No, I don't miss the time of studying the subjects i don't like, but I will miss the time of acquiring broad knowledge of many different issues nowadays in many different countries.

I do miss working on daily basis now, but I know these moments of being a student in France of this major, is very special for me and it helps me to shape my way of thinking of many different issues.  I will have the busiest months from now on 'til end of December, with 4 presentations and 4 papers to go, but I will do my best as the last effort of being a master student.

our castle

Our castle is the best place for us in this world. You find your comforst, your happiness, your accompany, your lover, your cleaning lady, your driver, your books, your comfy pillow and bed, your gadgets, your tiramisu, your home-cooked meal, your credit card, your shower bathtub, your parfum, and everything you might not even realize that those items perfect your castle.  

It's so comfortable that we can hardly leave our castle. Why should I leave if I'm on my most convenient place?  No, you don't have too, unless you wanna find out that there are amazing people out there with their amazing stories. My neighbour said there are amazing places and their daily life.  My childhood friend said there are unthinkable values you will ever find among your cleaning lady and your driver.  It is written in a book "there are thousand of ways to survive in life" that you never thought about.  Quote of the day says "There are millions of stars at night that you can see when you sleep in nature".  The bookshop keeper told me that there are titles of books I have never known before.  My twitter follower mentioned to me "There are millions of beautiful language you don't speak". And my heart says "There are numerous things I wanna try and moments I wanna enjoy as this life is too short".  There are everything in this world worth to do, hear, read, see, feel and experience before you decide that you are on your best moment.  

Go out of your castle and you'll be amazed on what you'll find! Share to those who keeps on guarding their castle, not about how amazing the outside is, they can watch it on tv though.  Share how great the feeling is to be outside and how valuable the memories you have with great people out there who you might only meet once and never again.

#miss my little heaven

being 24 for the last time

In couple of hours I am moving on from 24 to 25. So I dedicate few hours left to remember what I have been through for a whole year of being 24. I crossed some points from my dream list already!

- have my French laptop

- see snow for the first time (incl. having my boots (now I have 3) and coats for the first time)

- pass by in Riyadh and Jeddah (so happy I did this)

- start my blog

- know the smell of canabis (and I hate it)

- visit my best friend in Sicily and be with her during her pregnancy

- survive in France (with its vicious-circle paperwork)

- finish my first year of Master

- do my internship in France

- speak French (not that good yet)

- in love with Vienna (and definitely will return there)

- within France, I love Lyon the most

- back to my little heaven (after 4 years of dreaming, praying, hoping and wishing on every bday)

- hitch hiking

- celebrate my sisters' wedding (two in a year)

- spend time with my mom and dad (for real)

- sleep in my bedroom in hometown again after years

- meet my old schoolmate (we haven't seen each other for 7 years)

- celebrate Kir's wedding (we're best friend since we're 13)

- gather with the 'destiny' girls

- go to Hongkong and meet my Tz friends from 4 years ago

- get used to travelling for long hours

- chatting with my mom (she is so into technology now!)

- travel to places I'd never thought I would ever go

- ...

The three best of all, first, I understand myself better than a year ago. I start to have some clues of what I want for my life. There were many times that I had to decide things by myself, and I did it even with a huge hesitation everytime I have to do it. I used to be in the middle of the road. Well, I am still there, but I have a better me who is ready to face it. 

Second, i know who my real friends are. I don't bother meeting people just for a sake of networking. I meet the people I talk with wherever I am during the good and bad times.

And the most important part, I understand, realize, feel, respect the time of being with my family and be part of them, for real.  This is something I appreciate the most.

I thank You, God, for being the one realizing and teahing me all of these during my 24 yo. I am fully blessed for being who I am. I do complain, I do feel sad, I do feel annoyed, I do feel lonely but I do feel happy and excited about my life. Okay, being 25 is not young anymore, with more expectations from other, more responsibility, more decision to make plus I should start with my anti-aging cream already, but I will enjoy it.

happy birthday to me, soon!

Some wishes for 25: finish my master, start my career, and be with the one I am happy with.

p.s: One day I read a sentence "How if you had already achieved your dreams, will you have anything left for your life?" This stucks on my head for years. Now, I know the answer. For me, dreaming is a never ending story.  You will achieve your dream, you will grow up, you will forget yout previous ambitions, you will create another dream and you will adjust to it.

... 12 oct 2013

My first several days back to this city and life here were not easy at all. I felt lonely and, again, questioned myself "why am I here?" Yeah, I didn't find it easy to be back to this student-life in France and to stand by myself, especially after several weeks of travelling and being home with my mom and dad.

I started to watch random videos on youtube, simply to get some sounds accompanying me while doing something else. I started to play stupid games on my laptop, read tons of books, etc. Those helped letting the time passed though, but I knew I didn't want to spend my time of those temporary entertaining items.  I started to overcome this loneliness and post-holdaiy syndrome.  First time is to keep on reminding myself that this semester is the last semester I am sitting in the class as a student, as next semester will be different. I am excited about it. 

Things were getting better day by day, I chatted with my friends in Indonesia. I don't have that much friends I can talk with, but I know and feel so blessed that I have my best friends I can always talk with anytime.  They are far away. I got one in Australia and the rest are spreaded over Indonesia. But, as long as we feel that we are friends inside out hearts, the we will always be friends. 

and last night was one of my best nights in the city. Wwe had the new semester party in Ale's new appartment, which was super fun.  We drank, we laughed, we talked, we shared stories, and we ended up with lots of bottles of wines and its friends.  Good wine, good friends, good time.

Now, I am ready to be back to school with them and pass this semester together.

welcoming my 2nd brother-in-law

7th Sept was a date that I've markedever since as it's a very special day for my beloved sister. Yes, we welcome another new member of the family.  For me, it's once again, a chance to gather with my family.  I have been waiting since January, to witness my sister to get into her new life. 

So we were so busy and extremely engaged to all the ceremonial wedding that I didn't even eat during the party. One remark about that day, there was a misunderstanding between my sister and her hair stylist and it was ruining her mood a bit.  I tried to settle everything down eventhough I am not an expert at all, simply because I didn't want to see her being not happy on her wedding day. The idea of having this special day is to be happy and enjoy it, not about to make everything perfect while you don't really feel the happiness and joy of the day.  Everything was solved at the end, and i would have never mentioned this issue anymore to anyone in the family.  It was a special day and nobody shall give space for stupid bad memory of that day.

I met so many people at the party that I knew. It was really nice to be in the party where you belong to, and I felt that way.  I was so happy to talk with elders, aunties, uncles, cousins, friends and relatives.  I was happy that I really understand that It was not the dress that I cared so much for that special day. Fyi, I got my dress just several days before the D-day.  It was not an expensive dress at all but I felt very comfortable wearing it, as simple as I wanted, and everybody said it fitted me perfectly. So I know I wore the perfect dress for that day. =)

One funny (but also starting to be annoying) thing is the question that people asked me during the party. "So, when is your turn (to get married)?"  It was a nice and simple question, and I was not annoyed by that. But when the same question was being asked from everyone you met that night, okay, it started to annoy me. I didn't want it to ruin my mood, and I kept on answering "SOON".  With who? have no idea, as I am not in a relationship with anyone at the moment.  But who cares, I do believe that love is a feeling I well have with the right person at the right time, and he is somewhere out there. I remember one of my friends kept on asking me "where is your bf?" and I used to answer, "oh, maybe he was in Antartica, trying to get me a penguin". lol

p.s: I shared this story to my western friends, and their reactions really made my day "what the f*ck they asked you whether you're getting married or not". 

See, it's always about how you see something from different point of view. Someone may annoy you so much with his writing on one side of a paper, then you flip it and you'll see nothing.