Last day of 2014

Yes, it's our last day for this year.

Let's do a recap:

met DH this year,

did europe travelling with tomgen,

Finished my master,

So disappointed for not being accepted in those two big companies..exactly in the final interview,

Fed up of going to interviews,

Felt so useless for not working for months,

Stayed in jakarta with mon chéri,

Have new sangjit project for january,

Being active as wedding organizer,

Found out that my bf is so sensitive,

Cried over fights with my mom,

Went to lampung with my bf,

Wonder how life is really unpredictable...by beginning of this year, I was crazy about moving out, almost being homeless in paris, so afraid of speaking french to this french people in the office,

And on this last day, being so sick and stay in my bed while listening to fireworks.

There have been so many good and bad times this year. I am so thankful for that. I hope that next year will be even better than this year.

Some points to go for next year:

Sangjit project,

Salonku project,

Work at consumer goods,

He finds a good job,

We both can move on to the next level together,

Being a better me,

Save money and have a house,

Help tepa n mera for their wedding days,

Be healthy, be positive, be grateful, be wise, be thankful.

hidup di Jakarta

Yup, saat ini gue udah hampir 4 bulan di Jakarta. dan DH juga ada disini, di Cinere tepatnya.  Rasanya uda banyak hal yang kita lalui bersama. g makin kenal DH jg, kita makin sering ribut juga. Tapi gue tetep kangen dy selalu. =)

Saat ini gue lagi super bosen, karena gue sendiri belum dapet kerjaan yang gue inginkan. uda banyak interview gue jalanin tapi ternyata belum ada yang pas. Semua yang gue incer, selalu gagal di tahap terakhir. what's wrong with me?
Gue mulai merasa ga berguna. 
Dan semalem pun gue berantem sama DH karena kita mau bikin bisnis bareng tapi ternyata ga gampang untuk kerja bareng orang yang sangat dekat dengan u. 
Gue sempet cukup excited kemarin ini karena gue bisa ngerjain bisnis ini, bisa ada order-an hampers, ada urusan kids decor party project, plus jadi wedding organizer. 
Sometimes gue mikir, iya banyak banget hal yang pengen gue lakuin at the same time. Tapi kalo gue gda yang bisa dikerjain begini, gue ngerasa useless dan ga berguna banget. Plus, g mulai mengalami krisis keuangan. 
Ahhh..klo uda begini, rasanya gue pengen kabur dan ga ketemu siapa2. Rasanya ga perlu orang2 tau gue ngapain sekarang, apa plan gue dll. yes, simply because i have no plan. 
DH juga bukan tipe yang bisa gerak cepat dalam hal merencanakan sesuatu. Yah kalo versi dy sih karena dy belajar risk management. Kebalik banget sama gue, yang kalau uda mau sesuatu, gue akan kerjain as soon as I can, karena prinsipnya, kalau mau gagal ya silahkan, tapi nanti gue akan bangun lagi. 

Gue mulai mempertanyakan, apakah keputusan untuk pulang ke Indo ini keputusan yang tepat untuk gue dan dy? Gue sedih karena sekarang dy stress ga punya kerjaan, gada plan untuk masa depan, dll. LDR is fine for me. Tapi dy yang gamau LDR, dan dy kekeuh tetep mau di Indonesia. 
so what are we going to do now?

...27 sept 2014

Kangen kamu mon cheri.. Six days from now, We'll be hugging each other tightly. :)

DH

Je suis la femme la plus heureuse dans le monde, grâce à toi, mon chéri!

jadi panitia lagi

Weekend ini gue ikut jadi panitia acara Eurolympique di Paris. Sempet ragu-ragu waktu daftar karena ngerasa uda bukan waktunya lagi utk gue ikutan acara bgtun. Gue ud ngabisin ckup banyak waktu utk aktif di byk kegiatan selama kuliah di atma. Tp somehow g ngerasa kangen jadi panitia acar, dan juga pengent. Gimana sih kalau ppi bikin acara, dan juga g belum pernah jadi panitia acar olahraga. So here i am. Hari ini gue jadi panitia , juga besok. Dan yah, ternyata gue kangen berat jadi panitia acara bgtu. Dan gjr sangat menikmati hari ini!

Salah satu bukti bahwa gue harus berani mencoba dan mengikuti kata hati. Dengan begitu gue akan tahu ada apa di balik pintu itu.

En retard

These days I have this bad habit of being late, either to the office or to meeting appointments. This is really not a good habit. Like today, i was so late to an event because I could not wake up early in the morning. I felt very ashamed when I arrived today because I feel that I am the worst ever. I should not be late for such day. Okay it is not a big deal for them, but for me, i feel so bad about this. And now it's 22.10 and I force my self to sleep because I am so afraid to be late for tomorrow. 

I need to change this silly habit. I need to manage my time better, if not, one day, I might lose a good chance just because of being late. 

Mission starts tomorrow.

Chillin' out

I was walking around Paris for hours and hours with Asti. We started from our place to Montmarte, then to jardin du luxembourg, which was super nice, and continued to have our picnic time in ile saint louis.

It was very nice that we were walking along the riverside from île-saint-louis until the eiffel tower. I saw a lot of things that I had never know before. Around the riverside after musee d'orsay, there are places for kinds and people to play rollerblade, skate board, kids in the playing ground area, and also people who are just drinking and chilling out. There are tables there where they have the ludo, chess pattern and some other games. I didn't know this area before. Then we continued walking and found theworld map, animals painting, alphabets, numbers, and some other street art there.

Surprisingly, around the pont alexandre 3, there are a lot of cafes filled with crowds of french young businessman and women. It was around 7 pm, and yes, everybody was drinking and chilling out in the riverside, with heels on the toes and wine on the hand. I was so surprised. Because they are really young business executive, with their suits and formal working outfits. Right after pont alexandre 3, there was a very alive restaurant with music and open bartender and kitchen. They are not really eating anything. You can see the wine and champagne bottles in every table. Sow, they do enjoy their lives. It was thursday night, not even Friday night. 

It's another life of Paris that I had never known before.

la bible

Finally I got the bible have been looking for. It's in English and in French. Hope this can be another way for me to learn as well as understanding more God's way of life.

curious or care

"Only a few people actually care. The rest are just curious".

There are some quotes that stay forever in your mind because it somehow realtes to you, or you feel like it's so right, something really happens but i never realized it before. Just like this quote. This is one of not-so-mày quotes that i keep in mind, and keep on reminding myself about the meaning of this quote. People don't care, they are just too curious. 

Now I can see some people around me who do really care and some others who are just curious. Curious about my future plan, curious about how I survive, curious about how I get and spend the money, curious about shether I am happy ornnot. Even after you answer their questions, or telling them th your life is not as good as you expect, they don't even give you another second to explain. They just want to get the answer of their questions. 

As I grow up, I meet some of these two types of people. For the first type, I definitely can share my happiness, worries and thoughts. For the second one, You'll see me as the happiest girl alive! Don't be too curious about other's life, as it has nothing to do with you.

Easter vigile

For this Saturday mass, I decided to go to the english mass because Normally for special celebration, the wordings are even more complicated. To avoind not understanding the meaning of the mass, I went to the english one at St. Joseph's church near Arc de Triumph. I was surprised because there were quite number of people there. The church is another beautiful and simple version of God's house. One thing I don't like is that people were so noisy before the mass started. I remembered once a brother of Taize told me that by the time we enter the church, we prepare ourselves to God. In other words, we are supposed to keep silent in order to respect others who are preparing themselves for God. 

It's not only to be silent during the mass, but also by the time you step into the church. 

Anyway, maybe it's just another different habit of people and its church.

We started by gathering outside the church to light the paschal candle. And then the priest followed by us, we entered the church with the candles in our hand, and started the celebration. There was baptism and confirmation for some people, which reminded me of, again, how blessed I have been to discover and know Jesus in my life since my baptism during easter 6 years ago. The baptism was also unique. Every of them was pourred with blessed water, and then they sign the baptism certificate and got the bible and certificate as the welcoming gift to the community of Jesus. 

The priest was hilarious during the mass. He was very funny, communicative, nd was able to bring up the good atmosphere during the 2-hour mass. Before the last blessing, he gave egg chocolates to kids in the church. Lovely. I am sure those kids are bery happy even only with one small egg chocolate from a very lovely easter santa. The mass was really alove and i didn't feel bored at all.

Très joyeuses des pâques 21.04.14

For Sunday mass, I went to Madeleine. It is one of my favorite churches so far. It was a nice Easter mass and pretty short, only one hour. 

At the end I was saying happy easter to one of the priests and he asked me where do I come from, and he speaks a little bit indonesia. Nice to find people speaking indonesian.

Jeudi et Vendredi saint

I have been so lucky to experience easter this year in Paris. Last year I was in sicily and it was more to holiday than experiencing the real three holy-days celebration. So for the white Thursday and Holy Friday, I wen to the church near my place. I was so lazy and have decided not to go to the chruch but then I remembered how blessed I have been in my life, and there is not reason to not saying thank you to God for what I have. So I finally went to the mass. And yes, it was very interesting one.

During white thrusday, in St. Geneviève church, the room was set like a big dinner room, just like the last supper that Jesus had with his disciples. In the middle there was a long table and everyone was sitting around the table, including the priest. They decoreated the table with real bread, flowers, some candles and lights. I was sitting very close to the priest and the small altar at the end of the table. I have never been so close to the altar like that ever. The church itself was very different from other old church that you can find wherever you go in France. It was pretty modern with the modern style altar, but still very simple and beautiful. I could watch what the priest was really doing around the altar, especially when he was asking for bless for the bread and wine. It was interesting for me to see that. And then at the end of the mass, the priest brought the goblet to the backyard of the church, followed by everyone. He put the goblet, candles and flowers in one small table in the backyard, and we were praying around the goblet. I was not so sure what's that mean, I'll check out later. 

The 2-hour mass was not boring at all.

-Nous sommes le corps du Christ

Chacun de nous est un membre de ce corps

Chacun reçoit la grâce de l'esprit,

Pour le bien du corps entier

Then on friday, again, i was so lazy to go to the mass, but again He calls me to come to Him. Znd I am thankful for that. I got another experience that friday. Like elsewhere, there was the story of how Jésus was sentenced by Pilatus. This time is in French, and yes I can understand te main story, but just could not catch all the words, especially when the choir, as the farisians, sang so beautifully that I could not understand at all. Then we also had the time when we kissed the cross. In Jakarta, as there are many people, the church prepares several mini cross so people make several lines and kiss that cross. But yesterday, we lined up to the big and only cross in the church. It was like around 200-250 people, so it took quite sometime. I felt so sleepy by the time we finished the mass. :D

O père, dans tes mains, je remets mon esprit

A place called home for them

Big cities mean big issues. One of them is the homeless people in the city.  I have been living in Paris for several months, and yes it becomes a very common view to see homeless people in the metro station, in front of an empty building, in a bench, in a station or bus terminal, everywhere.  If they are lucky enough, they might have a corner in a warm metro station.  But not all metrro stations are warm enough. I do freeze most of the time eventhough I only pass by in the metro station at night. Being homeless may be the only option they have. Being homeless everywhere in this world is not nice at all. But I feel really sorry for those in Paris.  It's very cold everynight during the year. Even if it's summer time, at night it is still very cold.  I pay attention of how they survive. Some of them have dogs with with them because it will give them some level of warmth.  The other, they cover their body with any clothes they have.  They do drink a lot of wine to keep their body warm too.

I passed by plaza republique after my french class last week. I saw a family of a dad, mom and their kid, sleeping in front of a reconstructed buidling.  Their roof is those temporary stairs made for the reconstruction work.  Not so far from their 'home', there is a Crowne Plaza Hotel. How life is so not fair for them.  It was really sad for me to see their condition.  Then in the metro statin, I saw one guy, that I have seen several times, he was just sitting there and drinking beer. I suppose that metro station is his 'home'. There were two girls trying to communicate with him. And he showed them that he has a mark of kinda accident on his left feet. He is old. He is very quite. His face is very calm. He looks really like a nice and peaceful person.  He lives alone, I guess, and that really makes me sad.

In a city where everybody is coming to but a thousand dollar bag, there are those people freezing at night in their 'home'. Their only heater is either hugging a dog or drinking.  You might say that they are so silly to spend their money for the alcohol drink. But have you ever thought that in such situation where you have no other option to be happy about what you have, drinking can help you to make days pass faster. Even if another new day is coming, is there any hope for a new life, a new home, a better condition of living? Some of them are drunk in the metro station but they have never been annoying, to me at least. I am not afraid with them eventhough I have to be in a metro station at midnight by myself. They won't even try to touch you nor talking to you.  At such case, I hate more those unresponsible kids who are drinking for fun, spending money for smoking weeds and then go back home and stay under their parents' armpit as they can't survive themselves.

I do really hope they can have a place called home for them one day, especially for that old man in the Republique metro station.

Going to Sunday mass

I have been going to Saturday/Sunday for quite sometime in France. i go many different church both in Orleans and in Paris. I am still amazed everytime u go to one church for the first time. The churches are all beautiful with its original construction, painting, sculptures, statue, glass window, the sun shining us inside the church, the cold stone in winter, etc.
From all churches that i have ever been so far, it creates one similarity, it's pretty empty. Well, of course it doesn't apply for Notre Dame Paris and Basilique Sacre Coeur which are touristique places.

At the beginning i was very surprised to see not so many people in the church. Back in jakarta, i have to be there at least 30 minutes before in order to get a seat inside the church. If you' re there just in time, you'll stand outsided the church and hear nothing actually.  But here, incan be there just one minute before the bell stops ringing, and I can get a front-row seat, for sure.  I sometimes see some young people in the church, but it pretty rare. Most of them are old and very old believers. You'll see pretty young couple in their 30s with their baby. It's quite cheering. I remembered one time in Jeanne d'arc church in Orleans, the one collecting the donation was a very very very really old man, who has hard time to walk around the church and he was shaking while holding the small basket for the money.  I really can't forget that moment. It was really sad to see that there are only these old people left in the church.  It's a very common view to see the old father walks by himself to the altar, without any cardinal nor any young man helping him.  Another day, one woman asked me if I would like to sing in the church because there's almost nobody singing in the church.  I would really love too, but I can't.  I have issue with my French level and my not-so-nice voice of course. 

If you come earlier before the mass starts, you'll find out that they have nobody ready for reading the bible, they usually ask anybody in the front seat to read.

This is really different from where I come from.  In Jakarta and Lampung, there are even 'committees' for each mass held in the church. They organize everything, they have the special uniform sometimes, there are young people helping the father in the altar area, there are a group of choir, they are there to help you finding an empty seat in the middle of the crowd, there are tvs and slide to make sure everyone can see what's going on in the altar.  Those are all doubled during the special day like easter or noel.  There are also practices for the youth to read the bible for the mass, practices for the choir, practices to be one of those helping the father.

I am not trying to show which one is the best, not at all. This is simply a personal note for myself. In a country where you can find churches just several steps from wherever you live, the situation is surprising. But i do learn that it's not about making everything perfect for the mass celebration. It can be as simple as how they do it here. It's the purpose of being in the house of God that make people still come to the church. It was not a matter of committees nor the crowd. It's about praising God in any way possible.  I will not forget those very cold days in the church, that old shaking man, the sound of the very old big organ in the church. And many reflected moments i have in His house

Too curious

Several days ago I was reading news about the scholarship to New Zealand. Then i did a little bit of research to find out about the programs, etc.  2 years ago, Mera told me about this too but at that time I was concentrating to register to the university in France, and France becomes my biggest dream that time. So I didnn't really pay attention to 'studying in NZ issue'.  Then I again saw article about this and it interests me. Just that night, i was really into applying to the school for another master and for the scholarship. I was already really thought about applying without telling anyone, especially my mom.  But then the next day, I asked Mele and Tepa about their opinions if I again take another master study.  Frankly, everybody does not agree, with different point of view. It's the best i can have with these two best friends, because they always come up with ideas that I had never thought before. Tepa with her chinese-old parental point of view and mele with a modern one.

Their opinions make a good sense. Then I brought up this question to my mom.  She directly said no, without even asking me what, why, when, how, etc.  The reason is because I have enough for study now and it's time to work, get married and start a family, or I will be too old to get married while the whole world is planning their wedding anytime soon.  'What will others think if you keep on studying and not getting married?' I don't appreciate this, at all. I know I am not that young anymore. I will be 26 this year and need to start my career soon. Plus I don't have a bf nor planning any wed soon. But it should not be the reason to refuse my will to study.  I was disappointed though. I don't appreciate when my mom starts to talk about 'what others think....'. I keep on saying to her, it doesn't matter what others think. They neither help nor care about what is happening in our life. Why should we waste time to think about what they think about us?

You can give me a million reason to refuse my proposal and i will consider it, but never it be about what others think.  I am who I am now because I stand by myself doing what I love to do, not about what others love who I should become.
"They don't care. They are just too curious". So, keep your plans to yourself.

My routine

It's been quite a while since my last writing. I am occupied these days. I don't feel like days are running but I have so many things to do everyday.  Give me sometime to remember what have been through these days. A lot!

I have been exploring Paris very often during the weekend, visiting so many beautiful and remarkable places, knowing a little bit more about the history and the culture of the city and its people. I like being a tourist, but at the same time, I also like to understand their history that creates their way of life and thinking these days. It's more much more interesting than seeing building and taking pictures in front of it.  :P.  I also like my days now because I am now in the 'I-know-how-thing-works' period so I feel like really living here, not only passing by for several days or months. Well, I still have no idea about so ma y things but I am pretty happy with what I know and see so far.

Now I have my routine. I get up at 7 in the morning, get my breakfast (yoghurt+Cereal+Oats or milk or juice and jammed bread), get ready, head into the metro, take metro line 13 change to line 2 and then change again to line 1 before take the bus no. 244 to Val d'or station, which is 5 mins walk from the office. I come late several times but it's fine, I stay a bit later as well. On normal and good-mood day, I eat in the dining room woth all the french-speaking-only employees (I eat salad a lot these days). I go home by 5 and be home by 6p.m. Then I will enjouy a cup of tea or a glass of juice before reading or playing games. At around 8 I'll be eating together with Jessica, Sonia, Philip, Clemence, or anybody that I start the conversation with that night. :)
The length of my dinner depends on the topic of the day, it may take only one hour or even 2 hours. Haha.. I'm becoming french now.
Get back to my room, I'll either read or play some stupid games (Mele just told me to download an indonesian game called 'tebak gambar', a silly one but I keep on playing.)
What a 'basic' routine, but I like it. Then I always have something to do by the weekend. I join the walking tour around Paris, I go to touristic spots, I go to Sunday mass, I go to different traditional market most of the time, Go to supermarket as well to do groceries shopping or simply have a walk in the Seine river by my own and take a bus around the city. I get lost every weekend with different direction of the buses!

So far I really don't feel bored about my routine. I travel sometimes for the work, and it helps.   I feel that there are some things that are changing in me. I adore salad so much now. My food is not that greasy nor tasty or spicy anymore.  I enjoy the sun more. I take care of my body better than before.  I am not engaged to internet anymore. I have time for reading books now, but just not french grammar book. :(
There are so many things I don't want to forget from my life here, and I'll write them all hopefully very soon!

P.s.:while writing there, there are some people shooting for film in the appartment accross mine. Interesting!

Be sure of my decision

Last Wednesday, the 12, was not an easy day for me and my sisters and brother.  My mom had her cancer surgery on that day. We found out about her disease like around one month ago. And then we decided to check with another doctor in Jakarta, and the result was similar to the one my mom got in Malaysia. Then we decided that my mom would do the surgery in Malaysia, as she always go to that hospital and, in my opinion, that hospital is more efficient in doing everything, such as taking blood sample, etc. 

It was scheduled on Thursday but all of a sudden my mom decided to do it as early as possible. So when I woke up, at around 7am here, my mom was already ready for the surgery there.  I was pretty shocked that morning.  That day I had the training in Champs Elysees, and we had quite a long pause for lunch, so I went around Champs Elysees, going to some stores, etc. But my mind was not there at all.  The doctor said that the surgery will take around 2.5 hours but at the end it took more than 5 hours. During those additional 3 hours, I was pretty awful, like not knowing what happened and at the same time, can do nothing at all. What I can do all the time was looking at my mobile phone all the time checking if there is any news in our ‘sisterhood’ group, expecting any good news anytime soon.  My brother and my aunty were there to accompany my mom. 

At that time I felt so awful.  My family was occupied to prepare the ticket, the money, the departure, etc., and here I could do nothing except asking so many questions.   And then during the surgery, I was not there to accompany my mom, and could not imagine how awful the time of my brother waiting in front of the operation room.  I said to myself, ‘no, this is not what I want to face anymore in the future’, feeling so guilty for being able to do nothing.  

That moment makes me sure about the decision I already have in my head of returning home after the master.  Some of my friends keep on asking and persuading me to stay in France, as I can get a job, a better salary, a more exciting life in Paris, etc.  Until now, I know that’s not what I want.  For me, what’s the point of earning money for yourself, enjoying a glass of wine with your colleague or friends that you don’t really share everything with, enjoying buying branded stuff that won’t give you comfort during the lonely weekends.  I finally find out what kind of life I want for myself. I don’t care how great it would be to work in Paris, to have a French boyfriend, or whatsoever, no, it’s just not what I imagine about my future.  I don’t want to miss my nephews’ and nieces’ birthday, my brother’s graduation day, staying home with mom and dad, celebrating Chinese’s New Year together, etc.  There are enormous things I would miss just because of staying here.  And yeah also if somebody may be sick and need any help, I don’t want to be the only who only stare at her mobile phone all the time like last Wednesday.

It’s pretty funny though that a friend of mine keeps on asking me ‘will you stay in France?’ ‘why don’t you want to stay?’ ‘are you sure you don’t want to be here?’ almost every time we meet, which is almost every week.  I am even more confident to the decision I have in my head now, dear friend. =)

Mondial Spa

As part of my BR experience, I had to attend the Mondial Spa & Beauté in Porte de Pantin because we had our stand there.  I was pretty nervous because i have to, at least, prepare a short presentation about the brand, and be ready to answer visitor's questions about our brand, which I don't really master yet. And plus, it will be all in french. Oh yeah, not very easy for me. It went well, not really a lot of people visiting our booth. But I definitely wouldn't forget how I was trapped to do the skin diagnostic with the BR machine for 3 customers, thanks to my one and only partner, cadina.  Yeah, all of a sudden she proposed to customers to get their skin diagnostized using the machine and she asked me to do so. Okay in the morning, I tried once with her but it was only for fun. But then I can't say no in front of customer so I really had to do so. After one old woman, then another one, and another one. I had to explain about their skin type, answering all questions in french related to their skin conditions. Well, such an experience. 

The exhibition reminds le of the time I was representing atma jaya, especially the very first time when I had no idea how to explain to students.  I was in the same condition during that day due to my language issue. But I felt more comfortable now because I feel more confidence with myself and I know that was a process of learning.  I found out that i pretty like this kind of activity, and it might be a reference for me for my future career. I am on my way finding what I like to do for my life. 

One those good days in Paris

Have you ever feel happy in in a very normal day in the middle of working week? I do. Inspite of the fact that I keep on remembering what kind pictures (esp. The picture for my dad's bday) and videos (of my university) that I lost as I lost my mobile phone, today was a pretty good day.
The work was fine today. Then I got a package from the company, all the skin care products that match my skin type ( my skin was diagnosed 2 weeks ago, but I wasn't expecting this).  I have never tried their produtcs, but I know that it's an expensive one and it's getting very famous all around the world, as I am the one processing order from clients.  And I got quite a lot that may last for 3 months. So I am excited to try. I have been very interested to cosmetics lately. :)

On the way home, the metro gate wasn't working properly so I had validated my metro card but the the gate didn't open. I tried several times and it said that I have just validated my card so I can't do it again. Then I met a mature guy who told me that I have to wait for 5-8 mins before I can use my navigo again. Then he offered me if I wanna sneak in with his ticket to the metro. It doesn't mean I didn't have a ticket. But my monthly card was not functioning well. So I did sneak in together with his ticket. As we took same metro, M1, we talked a little bit. Surprisingly, he lived in Indonesia for 3 years for working. He is working with petrol, etc., so he lived in Balikpapan, Jakarta, Riau. What a coincidence! We talked during the trip, and it was a very nice conversation with him. We both agree that living in Jakarta is very nice, eventhough there are traffic, etc, but if you have money, life is so much easier in Jakarta. It's very different from Paris. He is a very nice guy indeed.

Then I arrived home, prepared dinner and I met my residence mate. They are very nice, and quite talkative, so you'll never be bored of cooking together during dinner time. There is a new guy, Filippe, French-Portugese-Brazilian, in the residence and he is nice too. He studied infirmary in order to be a nurse. But Now I know that studying infirmary doesn't mean that you'll only work in hospital. You can be a medical person in a huge company, to assure employees' health, you can work domesticly with old people, you can work at school, you can work at laboratory too. I never known about this before. And the other friend is studying geology-chemistry at Doctoral level. Wow! Don't imagine a nerd guy! He is young, nice and really talkative. He said that he was actually a piano and musical student before he decided to change the path by the end of high school. What a courage!

Soon after, I made a list of what I have to buy for grocery shopping on saturday. I also plan to go to Sacre Coeur for Sunday mass this weekend.  I have new mission while in Paris, to attend the mass in different churches every week. I also wanna go to the chruch that I went 4 years ago. I didn't remember the name, but I will find out.
Then I imported all the pictures from my camera and organized all of them. I had a look at some old pictures from Orléans, and those really created a smile on face. And voila, now I am writing for my blog because I feel happy today. There is nothing special about today, but I somehow feel this is a very nice day.
I think I will enjoy living in Paris. :)

After all the things that had happened, I began to say 'I wish now is March/April/July/summer/fall/holiday period already' less and less. I now can understand what the phrase 'time will never come back' means. Eventhough it's just an ordinary day, I will live to the fullest because It'll never come back.

I also get used to be by myself in so many different situation and places. I am less and less afraid to be in the middle of new environment. I feel that I adjust much faster to new situation than me 2 years ago.  If I look back, it was really crazy what I have been doing so far, but I did it, and I prove to myself that I'd better do it and get unexpected result than doing nothing for the sake of comfort.  I proudly say that my surviving level is definitely at the different level from the one 2 years ago.

Marché Bio Raspail

Un dimanche, j’ai décidé de découvrir la ville pendant le dimanche.  je n’ai pas voulu rester dans ma chambre dans un bon dimanche, donc j’ai décidé aller à un marché bio à 5eme arrondissement, qui s’appelle Marché Raspail.  J’étais vraiment surprise quand j’étais là parce que j’ai trouvé que bcp de monde aime le marché bio. Les produits coûtent plus plus plus cher que les produits normale mais il y a bcp de personnes qui les acheter.  Je connais jamais que le marché bio est vraiment un bon business ici à Paris. 

J’ai vu bcp de produits bio, le pain, l’œuf, le vin, le viande, le fromage, la pâte bu blé/farine bio, les légumes, les fruits, qui tous coûtent très cher pour moi.   On fait, je ne connais pas bcp au sujet du bio. J’ai une amie qui adore les produits bio. Peut-être je peux lui demander sur ce sujet.

p.s : J’ai acheté le pain aux raisins BIO =)

Ahhh..N’oublies pas noter la location. C’est vraiment unique car dans ce quartier là, ils habitent tous les riches de la ville. Donc il y a bcp de magasins très connus comme Hermès, LV, Bvlgari, Le Bon Marche, etc., mais dans l’autre côte de la rue, il existe ce marché 3 fois par semaine. 

Un jour - La Statue de la Liberté

La Statue de la Liberté - Paris

Musée d'Orsay

p.s.:

Un jour, je serai à New York et aurai la même photo en face de la statue de la liberté réel là!

back after 4.5 years

It was 22 February when I finally went back to the church I once visited with Jun and Sari 4.5 years ago after Taizé. I don’t remember the name of the church but I can’t forget how glowing and shiny the altar was. It was so glamour for me at that time, but yes it left some marks in my memory.

Then I remembered about this church, so I went there for a Saturday mass with Rian, as at that time he was here for short travelling. It was full, and still with its beautiful, shiny and glowing altar.  There is a story about this chapel that makes it so special. Once Virgin Mary appeared in front of Saint Catherine Labouré in 1830 and requested the creation of the medal which came to be known as the Miraculous Medal.

The mass was meaningful that afternoon, remembering that I finally got the chance to be back to the place I have never thought before.  Old memories came back to my mind and I remembered that I prayed and asked to be given another chance to be back to that church again. And yes, Virgin Mary, Jesus and God gave me the chance. It’s another slide added to my life in faith. It’s also another prove to myself that ‘you’ll never know how things will turn out’ ‘keep on praying and dreaming cause they do come true’.

p.s.: It’s actually not a church, but a chapel called Chapelle Notre-Dame de la médaille miraculeuse

a very nice weekend with an old friend

My sony xperia L

I went to carrefour yesterday night before soirée in Hang's place with Sanja. I don't know how it happened but then I lost my mobile phone. I was still checking the metro map while waiting in the cashier, but then I put all the bottles into the bag and I think I put my mobile just there in that cashier table. I was so panic when I realized about it in the metro station, and then I hurriedly run back and it was gone already.

So i lost my 4-month old mobile phone with all its photos and videos that I made on my very last day in the university. I hate myself really, for being so careless. I feel really bad not because of the price of the phone, but because of my situation now. I am not having a lot of money for these several months living in Paris, and this happens just at the same time when I really have to tighten my belt. And last night I could not sleep because I remembered, my dad was giving me the money amounting half of the price of the phone. I remembered I didn't want to receive his money but he insisted and said that I can buy the phone that I like, and he could give more money for that. He is not a billionaire, I have to highlight, but he is the best dad.   Several years ago, he was also the one giving me the money for buying the electronic dictionary that I no longer use now.
I feel so bad that I cannot take a good care of it and wasted my dad's money just like that. He even only has a very old-school nokia phone that my mom bought 8/9 years ago.  I feel very guilty for being so irresponsible to this simple thing.

I know people are saying that it's just a material thing and shit happens sometimes. Buy yeah, for me, it's more about this guilty feeling to my parents for wasting their money for being so irresponsible. This is a lesson learned for me, the guilty feeling is the worst than anything else.
I'm spending all my savings now for doing things I want to do. Soon, I'll earn much more than I spend now and to share it with my dad and mom.

L'année du Cheval

Doa tiga Salam Maria

Sekitar bulan Oktober-November tahun lalu, gue sudah hampir memutuskan utk pulang ke Indonesia and magang/kerja disana. Gue begitu ga yakin kalau gue bisa mendapatkan kesempatan magang di Paris, karena level bahasa Prancis gue yang gue rasa ga cukup dan juga pengalaman kerja di bidang yang gue mau sangat minim. Gue uda mulai daftar di perusahaan besar di Jakarta dan KL, dan mulai tanya2 teman ttg lowongan magang di kantor mereka. Bahkan mama papa dengan senang hati menyambut gue kalau gue pulang kapanpun itu.

Tapi suatu hari gue memutuskan bahwa gue akan berusaha sekuat tenaga utk bisa dapat kesempatan magang disini. Kenapa? Pertama, ini kesempatan terakhir gue utk belajar segala hal dari negara ini dan orang2nya. Kedua, gue masih mau membuktikan ke diri gue sendiri, sejauh mana kemampuan gue utk bertahan hidup tanpa 'kembali ke kandang'. Lalu faktor lainnya, gue masih pengen ada di Prancis, gue mau Tommy bisa datang pas summer dan kita bisa jalan2 bareng, gue mau Tommy jg punya kesempatan utk belajar banyak dari negri yang sangat beda dari Indo ini.  Gue masih mau ke London, Spanyol dan Roma juga.  Kalaupun orang2 mulai menyindir gue bahwa gue uda umur 25 tapi masih blm pnya kerjaan tetap, dll., gue meyakinkan diri gue, bahwa gue masih akan punya 100 tahun kedepan, dan 2 tahun hanyalah jangka waktu pendek yang gue habiskan utk belajar banyak hal bagi kepribadian gue kedepannya.

Masa2 ngelamar magang bukan masa yang mudah. Setiap gue mengirim aplikasi, gue jg harus siap ditolak atau diajak interview mendadak pake bahasa prancis. Dapat kesempatan magang disini memang susah, karena semua anak kuliah diwajibkan magang sehingga perusahaan bisa memilih dengan leluasa kandidat mereka. 

So, setelah g memutuskan utk bertahan dinegri ini, gue benar2 berusaha. Gue update cv gue, motivation letter, nongkrongin situs ngelamar magang tiap malem, latihan interview pake bahasa prancis, dan gue ga lupa utk berdoa. 

Gue berkomitmen utk doa tiga Salam Maria karena gue percaya bahwa Allah Bapa melalui Yesus dan Bunda Maria akan mengabulkan permohonan gue. Gue berdoa agar diberi kesempatan magang di Prancis. Tapi gue tetap menutup setiap doa dengan permohonan agar apa yang diberikan kepada gue adalah yang terbaik bagi masa depan gue, baik itu magang disini, maupun kerja di Indo. Gue percaya kalau apapun yang akan diberikan kepada gue, itu adalah jalan yang terbaik bagi gue. Gue jg berjanji bahwa jikalau suatu hari akan ada masa2 sulit dalam masa magang gue di prancis, gue ga akan mengeluh, karena itu adalah pilihan gue. Gue benar2 pasa masa berusaha dan berser. Akhirnya gue mengerti apa maksud kata2 'berusaha dan berserah diri'. 

Permohonan gue dikabulkan oleh bunda Maria. Bahkan gue dapat 2 kesempatan magang dari 2 perusahaan berbeda dan 1 lowongan kerja di Indonesia. Plus, setelah beberapa saat, gue jg uda bisa dapat tempat tinggal pasti di Paris yang super susah utk cari tmp tinggal ini. Gue merasa begitu diberkati dan dipercaya oleh Tuhan utk menjalani hidup gue dengan baik dan sebaik-baiknya agar gak ada penyesalan di masa mendatang. Tuhan begitu baik sama gue dan gue sangat bersyukur karenanya. 

Gue biasanya gak pernah membicarakan tentang iman kepercayaan maupun agama dengan orang lain. Gue adalah pendengar yang baik karena gue merasa gue bisa jadi domba yang baik tapi bukan gembala yang sebenarnya. Gue nulis di blog, yang gada yang baca ini, karena gue mau ketika suatu hari iman gue mulai goyah, gue akan kembali baca blog ini dan mengingat betapa ketika gue percaya, berusaha dan berserah, maka engkau akan diberikan yang terbaik. 

Jika memang suatu hari kamu tanpa sengaja membaca blog ini, gue harap ini bisa jadi sedikit bantuan bagimu agar kiranya kamu makin percaya akan kekuatan doa tiga Salam Maria dan kepada Allah Bapa. 

Terima kasih Bunda atas terkabulnya doa tiga Salam Maria. Aku percaya bahwa setiap moment di dalam hidupku, adalah alasan di balik lapisan imanku.

Je vous salue Marie, pleine de grâce

Le Seigneur est avec vous

Vous êtes bénie entre toutes les femmes

Et Jesus, le fruit des vos entrailles, est béni

Sainte Marie, mère du Dieu

Priez pour nous, pauvres pêcheurs

Maintenant et à l'heure de notre mort

Amen 

Unexpectable January

WOW. I am also surprised at how many things have happened in this month. By new year, i was still in Strasbourg, enjoying the very first Taizé european meeting. Then went back to Orléans and started with the house hunting. I went to Paris 2-3 times to visit rooms and appartment but there was not any good result. I was quite desperate at that time because I have to start the internship by 13 of January. Then I was so engaged in writting the two papers for multiculturalism and british pop culture. We also had exams besides. Then it came our very last LAME day, we took picture all together and ate in the canteen together for the last time. :(

Within 2 next days after that, I was hurried to finish my paper, pack my stuff, sell my printer and throw away stuff. I was sick also during that time. Voila, I moved to Paris by friday with one big luggae and one big bag by myself. I stayed for two nights in a friend of mine, and finally got a place to stay bu Sunday. So I moved again by Sunday night. 

Monday was the first day of internship and I was nervous about my french level.  The place in Bobigny was not very nice and safe, so we are all searching for another place. First Sunday, levce and I were cleaning the house and went to Rosny Centre Commercial, which was surprisingly quite nice. Second Sunday, I moved again to another new place because I suddenly get a space in a residence by Friday afternoon.  So here I am now, staying in my new place which is a very nice one and writing what have happened in this month. That's a lot of moving and tons of mixed feelings that I don't even have time to be sad or mad with my situation. 

I don't know how, but I was being most of the time positive with my situation eventhough everything was not very clear at that time. It's Lanty's power, my parents' trust on me together with His blessing that allow me to survive well and be in the right track until now. :)

At some point, I am a bit afraid that maybe the next several months I will be bored with my calm and quite life. Well, there are still 3 days to go for this month. Don't think too much Lanty. Time will pass and you'll enjoy your present life.

the guy in the metro

I always take Metro 1 departing from La Defense to go home from work. Since La Defense is a business area, there are many young, well-dressed, serious people taking this metro everyday. Besides, they are also good looking (typical french style) and quite smell good (with an intense smell of parfum). :D

So, today I saw one of the most good-looking and my-type western guy. I saw this good looking one in the metro, and he looks like a very cool young french businessman. He was also well-behaved and , I guess, well-educated.well, it was my spontaneous judgement from how he acted during the busy hour in metro and also to other passangers.  Hahaha... so, eventhough I had to stand in the metro full with people, it was fine, at least there is a very nice view to be enjoyed along the journey.

Now I know, all the handsome french guys are living in Paris and working in La Defense. The good thing is my office is at the same direction. Lucky me!

Today on the way home, I was thinking that I start enjoying my life in this big city. I love smaller city like Orléans, but still, capital city is always interesting for me. Eventhough I have to squeeze myself into the metro, climb so many stairs to change the metro line, take the bus, face the cold weather, etc., but still, after I figure out how everything works here, all is fine for me. Yeah, you will spend (much) more time in the public transportation, everything is more pricey, things are more competitive, and being individualist is the only choice left, but at the same time, you also can enjoy the other side of it. There are more choices available, from education, food, entertainment, etc.  Personally, I always want to challenge myself to survive in the capital city. As Indonesian phrase says "ibukota lebih kejam dari ibu tiri", it is true somehow, but it is also one of the reason that interest me to prove to myself that I can survive here. It is to once again to prove that I am growing up and I can solve everything by myself, especially in the big city where nobody is helping you.  There will come a time, at the end, when I have been successfully survive in the capital city, and that feeling is the best ever.  Survive does not mean only living and visiting the city for me. It is when you I feel comfortable of doing things here, be in the know-how stage for my personal issues, earn some money and living for a longer period, travel around the city without fear of being lost, be comfortable to go where without being skeptical (because I know how to solve it if things go wrong). Jakarta was my first city and maintenant je suis en train de le faire ici, à la capitale du monde, Paris. 

xxx of 2013

Couleur : violet

Repas : le fromage et le baguette

Boisson : cidre

Livre : Totochan

Moment : Le pâque au Sicile et à la maison

Lieu : Orléans et Lampung

Personne : mes familles

Joy : rester à Taizé

Douleur : être seule

La Percée: français et stage en France

Tristesse : la maison, elle me manque bcp

Regret : plin plan, être très stresse

Cadeau : voyager  ( Paris, Marseille, Nice, Lyon, Tours, Monaco, Sicile, Amsterdam, La Haye, Bruxelles, Berlin, Kassel, Witzenhausen, Frankfurt, Budapest, Vienne, Praha, Jakarta, Lampung, Hong Kong, Jeddah, Riyadh, Strasbourg, Kohl)

Knowing myself better: found out that i love long flight

Valeur : être plus brave, aventurons

Réflexion : Visiter le lieu n'est pas plus important que la personne tu voyages avec.

Motto : la vie est imprévue, non? T'inquiète pas.

The first week at BR

The first week of my internship at BR has passed. I was nervous at the beginning, but now I think I am fine. For the first three days I was in Suresnes office, met new people, got headache with all french conversation with its new vocabularies and different accent of many people, and also we had one-day tour around the office, laboratory, warehouse, etc. I also went to the visa agency office for office matters, to the Bourse du commerce near Louvre and had 2-day training in the Champs-Elysees office. It was a bit weird for me because normally I go to Louvre or Champs-Elysees as a tourist, but now I am there for working. 

Eventhough it is a new place, but I can control myself and my feeling a lot better. I know how to make myself comfortable there, and I do not really care about what others may think about me, about my weird accent in speaking french, or even about my bad french level. So far I understand most of the things well and I can do the job easily.  The training in Champs-Elysees was very confusing and hard for me, because they are all talking and discussing something at the same time.  Can yiu imagine, 3-5 women speak french at the same time about the beauty products and its facial and massage techniques and methodologies? It was hard.  But it passed anw. At least, I can enjoy the lunch at a good French restaurant and also eat Sushi during the 2-day training.  

I know that next week is gonna be tought because I will really work, and they expect me to learn everything quickly. I will, again, struggle about my decision to do the internship there if days are getting harder, but I am trying not to think about it. I will learn as much as I can absorb, and one day everything will be paid off. Profites-en!

pilgrimage of trust on earth

I'm one of the luckiest in the world to have the chance to join the event with another 30,000 pilgrims. To really experience the pilgrimage of trust on earth among people.  It was something I had never experienced before, and finally I can get the chance to fulfill another dream in life. 

 

L.A.M.E 2012-2014

These photos were taken on the 8 January 2014, the last day we gathered together for the Computing and the European Accounting Systems Exams.  I don't know what everyone is up to now, but I really wish them all have a good time now and in the future. When we took the picture, somebody was saying 'looking-at-the-bright future' face. =)

This also remarks my time of being a 'real'student which has finished.  Doing an internship is really different from being a student. At the end, I was happy for the study I did, the great people I met, the nice time I had, the good atmosphere among us, and I will bring all these good memories with me, always.
Ils me manque!

Bonne année 2014

So I enjoyed the new year in a very different way this time. We had the vigile prayer until 12p.m in the Eglise St. Thomas, Strasbourg. I was half sleeping during the prayer. Until somebody says 'happy new year'! And I was awake and we started to say happy new year to many people. Then we had the festival of nations in the cafeteria and it was fun! We danced the Polish dance, we sang, we laughed, we drank the French traditional beverages, etc.

I have had a very up-down and amazing year last year. And now I'm ready to welcome the new year. I have some resolutions to achieve this year:
- finish my internship and graduate from the master
- go to London with my beloved brother
- find a job that I have passion at
- settle down and be with someone I'm in love with
And the most highlighted one, live my life to the fullest and enjoy every moment! Nothing will happen twice.

So welcome 2014! Be nice, be great, be unpredictable, be amazing, be crazy, be surprising, be the best you can offer to me.

P.s.: Mele has found a job! So happy for her.

Sans domicile fixe

Wow, it's 12 January 2014 already!!!

I don't know where time has been flying since last December.
There has been numerous things in my life. I have finished all my exams for this master study. I went to Strasbourg for the Taizé meeting, which was amazing, and met so many great people there. I was so stressed for several days because I couldn't find a place to stay for my internship. Then I started to send random msg to Indonesian couch surfers in Paris, and I was amazed at how people can be really nice. One of them replied saying he couldn't help, another texted me asking if I might have already find a solution, and another girl texted me saying that she could host me for several days if I want to. I was very amazed that there are really people, who I never know before, are eager to respond to my random and silly message asking for a place to stay and offer me the place. At the end, I stayed in SH's place for 2 night, and now I finally have a place, our new castle in bobigny, with Levka and Sanja.

I have been very busy finding place to stay. I went to Paris couple of time to see the apartment, room, etc.  We actually found a very nice one, but the owner didn't want to rent it to see because she doesn't believe that we, 3 young foreigner students, can pay they rent without problem. I couldn't accept this. Why she couldn't be more open minded. A foreign student studying in another country must prove that she has enough money to live in order to have the student visa. How could she underestimate us like that.

From all things that happen to me lately, and also the experience I had during Taizé meeting, it showed me a really two different things in life. How some people can trust you and offer you help, and the other are being very suspicious about everything and everyone. It really depends on you what kind of person you wanna be.

This week was a very tough time, because I had to finished the 2 essays, then exam, finding new place in Paris, move out from residence and Orléans and to say goodbye to my classmates.  I really experience the moment when I really had no idea where to stay in several days, and with no one to lean on. It was a very precious lesson of life for me and also a reminder to myself to be grateful that I have so many fixed place to stay with my families in Indonesia.  But I have to mention that at that time, I was worried but at the same time, I was also relaxed and I was really sure that I would find a place just in time. I do believe in God and that He takes care of me as long as I make efforts. I was also surprised of how I could be like that in such situation. I think I really learn about 'trusting God' and about the phrase 'worry about nothing as you past has been written and you future is in His hand'.

I was also sad to know that all of our LAME friends will never gather together again, as many of us might be in some different countries, but this is life, and I know that every meeting will end. I have created the best time of it and I'll live with its good memories.

Orléans has become one of my comfort zones. I know where to go, who to meet, what to do, etc.  That's why I have to leave the place and start over in another place and learn to survive in the new place. So now I'm starting my new life in Paris, a city that everyone adores, which is actually as complicated as Jakarta, or even more. Tomorrow is my first day of internship. I hope it will go well and 6 months will be just like a click. Bonne chance à moi!

le 159